Deep In The Juice

Day nine is coming to a close and the countdown is on...only three more days to go!  There is no doubt that already the juice has helped me to become stronger person.  For the first time, perhaps ever, I have made myself a priority.  I am doing this for me, no one else.  And I am not depending on anyone else but myself to complete this journey.  I get the ingredients; I make the juice; I drink it.  I have the discipline to to this everyday all on my own.  Sure, some people have helped me along the way.  Like my friends at How Art Thou? and all the fabulous people holding me accountable by reading my silly blog.  Still though, at the end of the day, I juice alone. 

For as long as I can remember, I have been self-conscious about my weight.  There was always this feeling in the back of my mind that if I could just be thin, somehow all other aspects of my life would magically fall into place.  That I was inadequate as a person because I never fit into some Hollywood-created mold of beauty.  Or because I couldn't wear a pair of skinny jeans without looking ridiculous.  Yet, in nine short days, I have opened my eyes to what I could not see for twenty-two years.  It was never about my desire to be gaunt.  What I really wanted, deep down, was to be perfect.  Now, everyone knows that there is no such thing as perfection.  But, knowing this does not stop us (or did not stop me) from desperately wanting to achieve it.

I have often felt myself thinking, "I'll never be good enough."  The real question is: good enough for whom?  Whom is it, exactly, that I am trying so hard to impress?  And why, of all things, would I want to impress he/she/it with my body?  Physical beauty is, after all, quite subjective.  I can now accept, amongst other things, that I will probably never fit into a size two.  I simply wasn't designed that way.  Loving myself and my body is the first step in attaining that which I have only dreamed of.  When you truly love yourself, no one can change your perception.  Being perfect doesn't matter anymore because you only have to be good enough for you.  To me, skinny isn't beautiful.  Fat isn't beautiful.  Short, tall, big, small isn't beautiful.  No, healthy IS beautiful.  I may not lose a single pound from this juice cleanse.  I might gain twenty when it's over.  Guess what?  I could care less.  I am happy to be getting healthy.  No matter what number that may reflect on the scale.

What's even more amazing about this juice journey than my self-realizations is the impact I've had on others.  My friends are starting to adopt better eating habits and a few have even set out to buy their very own juicers.  Nine days ago, that never would have happened.  Pretty soon, the juice will spread like wildfire!  How fitting that when I randomly turned on the television today, Family Feud was on.  The topic: "Name something that might be referred to as juicy."  And the number one answer...me!  (Okay, just kidding.  It was fruit.)